| Survey of the Other Space |
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| 11:48pm 12/02/2008 |
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You first notice this clinging notion of irreparable distance in a survey of the estuary garden where the grove meets the seaside and does not sway but embraces
all the clam and the fishbone and all the pools of algae which vibrate with the steady cradle of the wind
It is the sensuous tension gripping your neck as you are picking through the sagging green pockets of moist earth with plumes of insects flying in eddies around your head,
in an orbit of life spun so rapidly that you are a mountain, and a god, and a gravity well for the ever-ceasing flight of a gnat’s cast lot
It is the sky donning late its evening attire, and the starless mass that consumes the western horizon in a veil of quiet
the streak of day which burns in defiance of the azure velvet, halfway between the canopy and the moon
When magnet dust and carols of light go creeping through the looming emerald vales
flanked by gnarled branches and the first new whispers of life
the hastened pace, in hunt of ephemerae. The rhythmic spasms of your chest muting the frantic drawing of your breath
When, in an instant the familiarity of your path seems to fade into a novel clearing, when the ambient noise first lights into a melody.
The thousand hums of anticipation, the world behind you shaking and seething from the blood pumping across your eyes.
You’ve been running for at least 15 minutes, when you first catch up to your thoughts, the ground is less steady here
The air curls with heat warping the dusk, the sky is dark and quiet once-more, though the leaves are still anxious with life
It is the rebounding energy felling your stomach as the moss clings to your ankles, and the roots elevate your head
as your hand falls across a tree embroidered with vines revealing behind it
the pulsing, breathing object of your unknowing desire held in the broken limbs of some old growth
The steaming sky-stone, birthing sprightly embers in the tall grass. The hiss of heat first meeting the muck. A critical mass of scent; metals and rock broiled in a stew of reeds.
In its imminence it is un-approachable. The quaking of your legs shaking your joints loose, the light sucks away your surroundings.
It is in the autonomy of the moment, with ribbons of sweat wreathing your face, hair matted to the side of your head, when you realize
It was not the object which drew you in, but the opportunity to become lost. |
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| Release these gentle structures to the winds |
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| 11:41pm 12/02/2008 |
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Gazelight sombered auburns
tonal chord-strand landscapes
fuzzy-welted blithe-burned eye-wipes
feathered accent crowds in candled sanctuaries
calm caverns wringing verbal riff scripture from drift-daisies
blind lime lamentations of sublime lamb scintillations
missed song missionaries long for lost sleep
invited warm shoreline texture investments
late our footfalls would sound so gracious by those
coldworn stove door floors
variegated in worn away weathering peels
moonlight inspired dryness re:contested |
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| eyelaid hymnal spies |
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| 11:40pm 12/02/2008 |
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Faeries glistened patriarchal in heavenlit stairwells
Stewing contemplation over ripened metaphorical striations
In the sand-woven fabric-lined dust caverns
Space-locations in a distant fancy, displaced ovoid yearn-maws
Womblike usurpers in feathered tomes
A whole in the sky, or some righteous notion thereof
In language stripped of synecdoche.
Whirligig notions of dissent patterns growing
prosody in repose flavors a timeworn text
Time as a currency, unit of meaning exchanged
We wouldn’t leave those tones growling so lowly in the distance
Wince carols and all of them
Alarmed beyond their comprehension
Written quickly and read slow
Word dances in strange accents |
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| time requited |
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| 11:37pm 12/02/2008 |
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music: Belong - girl from new york
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not much has happened, but I've found some lost works that'll I post en masse before forgetting all over again.
Vestige.
grandeur beam in a glory theme
we see to the right an image of an orifice, and near its center a centaur
named aeschylus and antistophanes
and habit of two minds
it screams static rays unbounding
a gracely fount of courted bondage
glimmer hole of a delighted winter's ball
festful crevasse wrinkled taciturn
no nightly calls for leisure strike this fornlorn heirloom,
a metallic taste lingering into the night
raising moth-faeries darklit in the caverns of our sleep
she cried pharmacy curses in the moonlight, writhing
sleep castles in a brick and mortar collapse
our tethered tomes in a manna loom
god's whistles turning kitschy in spite of our muttered morning prayers
languid those faithstolen eyes, ridicule was his logic's delight
let it be anti-humor that we jest with
let it be anti-wisdom that we gain
let it be anti-poetry that fills our bedchambers
as we sip on ante'd wines
0 concept chasm
1 a spasm of light
2 a bitter recollection
3 a savage crabhammer
4 a clavicle depressed by a submissive division
5 a reconciled phallic idol deposed
6 a christ impaled by pop culture
7 a christ impaled by sword culture
8 a sworded affair
9 a sword dreads the fair
netherwords scarred by inherent flaws
a broken bodice of addled meter
saddled |
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| I am speaking from the past here |
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| 10:08pm 31/07/2006 |
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mood: typical music: Fennesz/Fields Shorelines, and Hunters
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here goes. no more bullshit anxiety. no more fearing my ideas, killing them before they're born. i'm pro-abortion, not pro-choice, but every train of thought that leaves my tattered station is worth a thousand bundles of joy.
these are bad days to be a bohemian. murky waters. you have to milk your weaknesses if you want to get anywhere.
frail young man with no motivation? cross-dress and listen to music where the lyrics are screamed so hoarsely that the meaning is obscured.
if you're a girl learn to give good head and be ashamed of your vagina, i'm not sure if this will work, but it seems to be the popular opinion among the straight guys here.
its becoming counter-popular to be misanthropic. I don't know how to deal with that shit. I used to feel special for my disgust towards to the world, but now everyone is joining in and softening the whole experience. tenderizing the meat of the world.
wait, don't let it die so quick
i've replaced my blood with sardonic wit, it flows syrupy, keeps me calm. makes people like me. people like people who judge people. its all math, this social snare.
no time for trembling, we've all got sleepy-eyes. angst is impermanence. celebrate the decay of everything you own.
the prophets were post-modern before it was cool. nero was the first dadaist.
we need to embrace the fact that we aren't being original anymore. we're not musicians, we're remixers. we aren't writing the great american novel, we're editing chunks of the collective consciousness. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 11:48am 13/02/2006 |
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The new apartment is a beautiful place. I'm basically just a kid at summer camp, but instead of a gross, cold cabin with spiders, I have a room with no councelor, and all my favorite things.
There is a convienience store across the street that me and nina buy candy at like 3 times a day, and I have a sweet sound system set up in the corner, I brought all my old video game systems and I've been dusting off long forgotten games.
We got a dwarf hamster, her name is Kitten. Yesterday a group consisting of 5 of the coolest kids in detroit and myself got together and built her a giant maze in our central hallway/room. She made it through.
We've been doing science experiments in the bathtub, and yoga in the kitchen entrance. EVeryone who visits has to make it from one side of the kitchen to the dining table without touching the floor in a natural evolution to the "lava" game.
Classes are good but not great, and not having TV or the Internet at my house is crazy, but it leads to a lot more organic activities inside.
Best of all, I have a spinny chair and a slightly uneven floor, so you can spin around for like 5 minutes off of one good push. Combine it with good music and some science experiments, and its mind-blowing. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| 02:27pm 19/12/2005 |
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Sleep now. And let forever be content.
See in true mirrors, where self is not shown
These vortexes of pale glass
This is what the Buddha said when eyes fell floorside:
“You are on the world growing, ever growing this green earth.
As the ground grows, so the sky goes
Ever upwards, inverse deluge of scentless blue.
The ground falls where space is borne;
And soon every inch is a mile
In between each centimeter, ever expanding, new universes begin
And in each a green earth grows
And so the sky goes
And in each infinity, there grows green earth and sky
And in the center of it all, I am. Naught.
And I pray: Let my truths sing!
And the worlds grow.
And I sing: Let my truths pray!
And the worlds contract
And in each universe the walls contract
Until they seal up into loamy ground
And the loamy ground says “return to me”
And the loamy ground responds “I return”
And the sky falls, true deluge.
And so the ground goes.
And soon the sky is your skin
And you are the sky
And you are
Naught. |
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| Three equal spheres of different weights |
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| 01:04am 11/12/2005 |
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music: Nervous Cop // Bloemfontein // Boards of Canada // Radiohead
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THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT
Cap locks was on, but I'm not gonna re-type that sentence. ( low content )
I'm generally annoyed at this sudden interest in being aware of trends. Everyone is always aware of trends, but now, having exhausted every other frontier of conversation in this self-serving information mecca that I will deem the "soft internet" (forums, blogs, etc...) we turn to talking about how [observation of trend of group X] is really fucking annoying, and how you've recently noticed it everywhere.
Here's something I've recently noticed everywhere. People are stupid if you let them be, public bathrooms are gross, some people like some things that other people don't like.
Holy shit! I made a livejournal post about it.
My ultimate point is that nothing is dire about this life and we're just coming off some great nihilist bender that counter-culture started leaking in the mid 80s when cyberpunk got its start and pop music had vague and materialistic music videos as a sort of partially prescribed introspective irony.
Yes, I completely realize that I just typed "partially prescribed introspective irony", not only did I type it, I meant it fuckers. I'm tired of people cynically observing pseudo-intellectuals. I'm probably one of them. deal with it. I didn't spend my childhood reading good books and studying inane things so you could get annoyed when I throw around big concepts or words you don't know. I don't honestly think anyone I know is debilitating stupid, I'm not trying to flex some hidden brain muscle, I thought a thought and I said it. Its actually pretty low as far as echelons of thought go.
Anyway. if you want a real trend observation, I've got one for you. being fatalistically observant. You just realized that a lot of people are manipulative, so now you are gonna be manipulative too, because you totally figured out 'the game'. sweet. Lets boil it down, you noticed something that you DIDN'T LIKE so you are going to emulate it because you are now enlightened. Good. That is effective.
This is everyone. I do this. I DO THIS, ME. Anyway, its retarded. If life was actually as bad as we all know we wish it was, then suicide would be logical and all the worthwhile/intelligent/observant people would be dead. If that’s the case the world really sucks. Despite seeming like the world might suck now, it doesn't or you would be dead too.
Anyway, I like hipster music, also, I am human. One trait of being human is observing everything under a completely personal perceptual set. Things which provide me with a lot of pleasurable stimulus will probably not provide every single human of every imaginable demographic with the same amount or quality of stimulus. Therefore, I am inclined to believe that the things which give me the greatest amount of pleasurable stimulus are the best things.
I get pleasurable stimulus from searching for obscure music for an hour on my weekend, and an even greater amount of stimulus when that band plays obscurely and I listen to this obscure noise on repeat for 6 hours. [Yes I did need to use the adjective/adverb Obscure that many times]. This is not postulation, it is true.
Taking these things into consideration, I am proud of my music taste. and yet, look how easy it is to attach yourself to the recent observational trends of being counter-counter culture. Gosh those hipsters sure are elitist, pseudo-intellectual jerks.
Good, yay. You win, I like the things I like more than the things you like. Can I subscribe to all the things you like now, and though I am actually doing the exact same thing as before, be much harder to easily lump into a group and therefore somehow immune to being considered elitist?
What a tangent, man.
Ultimately our generation was raised without a real unifying (or even polarizing) social cause to rally behind, instead we are left to bicker, not even in person, but in text, about inane things. When we aren't doing this, we like to reminisce about the shared common stimulus that we all had as children since we were raised by media as much as by parents.
Think back. Ninja Turtles, Mega Man, Thunder Cats, the Goonies, Nightmare before Christmas; Back then we all liked the same things because we didn't have the time or apathy to rouse us into dissent. Gee, I wonder why nostalgia is so appealing?
Grow up! That is what I would tell everyone if there wasn't such a troubling trend which I have been recently observing (get the joke? haha) of maturity being directly correlated to assholeism.
So I say to ye weary masses, regress!! |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| the dusty bodhi-tree. |
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| 02:41am 07/12/2005 |
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mood: luquarm music: Vashti Bunyan
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i think i'm going for a reinvention here.
i've been fucking up a lot lately, which isn't so cool, because I've got a lot of cool people in my life right now, and a lot of cool things going on. but i think eventually everything has to build up into this crazy nova of thoughts and experiences and time, and i was lucky, because mine was hardly spectacular. almost anti-climactic.
anyways, i've got some cool plans for the days ahead. im totally going to become a buddhist, like seriously this time. i have some real issues with some of the philosophy still, meainly the whole "not-self" deal, but i think i have some interesting things to add; so maybe ill finally move to south east asia like i've been planning and become a monk for awhile...
anyway, i don't really know what else is going on. i have some exciting/embarassing stories of how retarded i've been recently, which i'm not gonna share here, but i'd happily tell in a masochistic conversation.
maybe i'll finally write that epic/get that license/start eating healthy food/get a job/choose a major and stick with it/stop skipping class/actually leave the country, but maybe i won't, and things will still be pretty sweet. |
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| mspaintin' my ass off |
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| 04:20am 03/12/2005 |
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music: amina/lightningbolt/greg weeks/animal collective
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i've got a slew of things to say and no desire to get them out with any tact.
//i bought Pink Flamingos, and fell in love with a little lady named Divine//
some shit went down in the dorms, it was krizazzie//
//i lost and gained interest in all manner of things unusual//
//i can't think of a more beautiful song than Amina's "Skakka", except maybe Animal Collective's "Winter's Love"//
//i've been diagnosed with clinical depression (sorta), but i'm having the best year of my life.//
//velvet goldmine was orgasms.//
//there is a porn star named "Chazz Lee" its a girl (grrl?)//
//Lightningbolt's "yhe faire folk" is pretty rockin too//
//i spent a moderate portion of my day banging out chords on my family's piano and wailing like a maniac, alone. it was sweet.//
//the human genome: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/genome/guide/human/
// national novel writing month came and went, i did some stuff, it wasn't too great, it wasn't too bad, i only got to like 8k words. its a falsified memoir about cargo cults and personified vaginas
i'm bored now |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| O clarity |
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| 09:12pm 01/11/2005 |
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mood:  zhiipehishsm music: M83 / Cornelius / Espers / Mum
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what shining things, arcane and mundane, have transpired.
I might be epileptic, but maybe not. It is an interesting and sudden turn of events. However, after extensive research, I have a new appreciation for the disorder.
there are numerous types of seizures. the usual ones with like convulsions and long periods of being out are called "clonic-tonic" which is basically the most insane possible name for them. A clown drink, essentially.
Mine however, fall under the category of petit-mal seizures. Small, sensory based episodes that only last a few seconds and have no loss of memory associated with them. I experience "auras" prior to the seizure which are generally manifested as a strange sensation of excelleration and uneasiness which moves across my body as a mass of sensation along with my field of vision growing progressively more blue. During the seizures I usually have weird sensory-overload type hallucinations, generally with garbled voice-like droning sounds in the "background" if you will.
Esteemed author Phillip K. Dick experienced the same type of seizures as I do, and in one of them he was informed that his son had a fatal, but not yet active blood disorder. When he emerged from the episode he took his son to a doctor, and they found that this was indeed true, and his son was in imminent danger.
Following this, the author became increasingly fascinated with fringe religion and western mysticism, and converted to a strange conglomerate religion based around gnosticism (my favorite!)
Also, in medieval times, people afflicted with epilepsy were considered to be divinely inspired, and their seizures were celebrated holy events in which they were experiencing the rapture of god and the voices of angels.
All of this is inspired by a recent seizure during the amazingly disturbing short film collection, "Three Extremes". I went out during the first film, Fruit-Chan's disturbing ode to eating abortions.
It was the perfect thing to do on a date.
speaking of which, things with evan are amazing. I've made an interesting note. If you can be in a car with someone and neither of you are talking for like 4 minutes stretches, but it isn't awkward/uncomfortable; that is really soothing/nice. Also, being able to have conversation that is simultaneously deep and highly erratic is really sexy.
I went clothes shopping and got some very nice articles, the pants, they must be seen.
For Halloween I went as a "foppish pauper" it was a nice get-up. I heard wonderful [true] stories of some wayne state chemistry majors in the 70s making gallons and gallons of LSD and trying to get it into the water filtration system in downtown detroit.
pictures possibly forthcoming.
Oh my new music:
I have completely revamped my favorites/musical taste
CORNELIUS is a delicious shibuya-kei artist that resonates of indie/trip-hop gitaroo man.
M83 is shoegaze perfectly refined, music I would happily die to.
Espers are droning, intoxicating, dirgelike folk-music featuring a male/female duo that harmonizes in achingly beautiful refrains.
please appreciate all of them.
finally: I tend to shy away from posting online quiz results, but his one was really impressive, and accurate:
 | You scored as Hadrian. You are the great emperor Hadrian. Not only great for the fact that he didn't mess something up, but he relentlessly administered the empire and set viable borders. Art, cultivation and wisdom mark your reign. The fact that you prefer the boys really helps with the wise handing over of the purple to only the most qualified.
Hadrian | | 79% | Commodus | | 68% | Claudius | | 68% | Vitellius | | 64% | Marcus Aurelius | | 61% | Nero | | 61% | Caligula | | 57% | Nerva | | 54% | Antoninus Pius | | 50% | Domitian | | 46% | Vespasian | | 46% | Tiberius | | 43% | Trajan | | 39% | Augustus | | 32% | </td>
Which Roman Emperor Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| tiny tragic robot lullabyes |
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| 10:33pm 09/10/2005 |
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music: Lou Reed / Talking Heads / Stereolab / Metric
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I think rochester has finally faded into the kind of obscurity that obselete places seem to ooze.
I can look back on it hazily, like grand rapids before it, numbly half-remembering melancholy days where nothing was accomplished.
I'm going to leave that ant farm to its own machinations for the rest of the year.
Despite the dreary sentiments playing ceiling to this paragraph, I'm still having an amazing year.
As expected, I'm having another academic crisis of sorts. Last year it was linguistics, anthropology and communications that held my fancy, slowly my interests shifted into creative writing and literature studies and somehow became fixated on medicine. I dabbled briefly with asian studis, and even got halfway through the minor.
Scheduling constraints didn't allow me to follow up on my writing classes, nor was I able to continue studying French. It seems languages are becoming dull to me on some level anyway, so I'm not too disappointed.
Now I find myself interested in psychology and pharmaceuticals. Specialization is the scourge of modern man, I swear.
A lot of students struggle with apathy, but I find myself having a difficult time narrowing down my interests, and I was never one to have a whole lot of focus. It spells disaster, because I'll never be able to truly master all those disciplines, but that won't stop me from pouring [my parents] money and time into secondary education.
What I really need is to marry into money and spend all day sipping on gin and tonics and writing fake memoirs about sexually deviant 18th century aristocrats with a knack for epistemology and high society. When that grows exhausting, I can do some groundbreaking research in neuro-linguistics and then disappear behind a swarm of titles and scientific journals.
Evan and I are now in a facebook-sanctified relationship [what other kind is there?]. Though semantics would suggest that he is betroathed while I am only involved. I like the imagery of it, but if he abandons his medical post, I'm going to have to find another man to line my coffers...
Fiscally defeatist outlooks aside, it feels extremely nice to be one half of a really awesome couple.
I missed Rufus Wainwright last night, choosing(?) instead to get miserably drunk in my backyard with a bunch of high schoolers after homecoming. This being followed by a drunken (yet jovial!) encounter with my parents. It might have been pretty awkward, but I'm well conditioned for that kind of situation.
Luckily my parents are really awesome people, and no great harm came of the night, aside from the epiphany that I hate my childhood hometown(s), but that wasn't really a well-hidden sentiment.
Poetry night returned last week, and went swimmingly. Everyone has matured, and it shows in our writing. New styles, different interpretations, shifted focus, new central images. It is actually quite exciting in a dorky manner.
Metric is coming to detroit on Friday, and I swear to god I won't miss them like every other show this year. (CoCo Rosie, Sufjan Stevens, Rufus Wainwright etc... )
Also, I am dying to find a studio recording of Elliot Smith's "These Days" cover, if anyone knows where to locate it I would be eternally indebted. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Consulting a dictionary only left me with airy diction. |
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| 01:19pm 02/10/2005 |
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music: Nobukazu Takemura/Squarepusher/Metric/Add N to X
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The day I realized the innate faults in marionette satellites, I had a crisis.
It was tumbletumbletumbletumble terrible.
I had to call the sea, but it was irate
I had to call the magistrate, but he needed to meditate
I had to write a mandate, but its worthlessness was innate.
“What a predicament“, was the sentiment that I relished in particular. |
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| Too soon, the flak-flared youngsters, weaned. |
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| 10:14pm 25/09/2005 |
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mood:  exanimate music: Of Montreal/Wolf Parade/Sonata Arktica/Nightwish
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A little narrative shift is in order if I'm gonna update again this soon, but right now I'm trying pretty hard to avoid work, so I'll be able to handle it.
I've been playing up a shift in my vocabulary, at least to those of you who I more infrequently converse with, so I've decided to do some soul-searching, and make another list of words I really enjoy [without the assistance of a dictionary]:
Anachronism, Audacity, Beligerence, Bellowing, Chasm, Castiglione, Decadent, Devisive, Egrigore, Erudition, Fallacy, Folio, Grandiose, Gnosis, Haberdashery, Histrionics, Illustrious, Inverse, Jocular, Jaundice, K is difficult because I don't favor it much, Lamentations, Liturgy, Machinations, Metallurgy, Niggardly, Nocturne, Ophelia, Palpable, Parasynthetic, Quaffable, Quivering, Reticent, Reverberation, Sonata, Solilioquy, Tapestry, Trifecta, Unilateral, Urolboros, Voracious, Veil, Weld, Woven, Xyzygy, Xenophobia, Ygdrissal, Yore, Zygote, Zanzibar.
After making the list I have the following criticisms/notes:
Castiglione is not a word like the others, but it looks very nice written. It is actually a place, in Italy I am willing to bet.
I would not have included Tapestry, but I met a college student last year who had never heard the word before and I was visibily saddened.
A second O is missing because I started the list over, and couldn't remember the orignal O.
U is severely underrepresented here. I will work harder next time.
My 'w's are pretty poor, they aren't very rare, but I like their sounds. Woven sounds like its meaning to me. W L and D are three very pleasant consonant sounds.
"Pensive" was only slightly beaten by Palpable.
Z is a joke.
I am willing to put a decent amount of effort into something meaningless like the above excercise, and yet I feel I would literally perish if I were to ever confront actual progress.
I am not going to write about being intoxicated as much anymore, not until I do something fantastic under the circumstances.
I've given up on football. I no longer "apparently" watch it. I will still consider any invitation to join football watchers, but it is not my thing. However, I refuse to give up on adding some foreign taste to my palatte. So I've taken up metal music. I'll give a trip report some time in the future.
( pseudo-philosophical rambling )
For those who were a little too alienated I offer up this: 
Also this: 
And finally this disturbing little number which will appear behind the cut: ( Read more... ) |
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| A cascade of pithy agonists from generally well-constructed wooden hearts. |
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| 01:59am 24/09/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic music: Polysics [!!] /Brian Eno/ Secret Machines/ Midwest Product
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Ahh, I’ve really been living a charmed life lately. Everything works out just as it should.
First and foremost, I just got back from the Polysics concert with Mike and Todd, and it was surely one of the most amazing/spiritual/sublime/delicious experiences of my life.
This was my first time going to a show at Small’s, and I wasn’t quite sure how to get there, so I ended up calling Jay [Sgt. Politeness from SA] since he lives in Hamtramck. It was probably a little weird since I haven’t talked to him in about a year, but it was cool. Shortly after the call connected however, we stumbled upon it, so I didn’t make for good conversation.
The opening bands were horrific ball-torture, and drove us to look through our phones at stupid pictures we’ve taken over the last few months while sitting on a couch in the back of the venue. The boredom/mediocrity was broken up briefly by some choreographed dances, and watching this drunk 30 something woman act like a complete idiot and thrust her hips to bad music.
Everything was completely made up for by Polysics however. They were the most animated band I’ve ever seen. From the very beginning of the show I knew it was going to be pure ecstasy. They lengthened all of their songs, and played some new ones. They had A RECORDER SOLO at one point.
However, everything pales in comparison to what happened during the encore.
Hayashi, the lead singer/guitarist grabbed me and pulled me to the front of the stage where he proceeded to CLIMB ON MY BACK AND HAVE ME WANDER THROUGH THE CROWD WHILE HE PLAYED GUITAR!!!! AHHHHH!!!! Afterwards he came up to me and shook my hand and gave me his pick. It was beautiful.
Moving backwards, I’ve been having lots of pseudo-adventures.
Nina, Justin, Joey, Evan, Sabrina, Ashleigh, and the two most prolific victims of Hurricane Krunkina [kill me for even making that up] have been enjoyed in large quantities.
I met the boys of 610, who are wonderful folk, and even performed some (possibly highly illegal) trading of controlled substances with them, but it was all in good fun. We also introduced them to rez, played some smash brothers, and listened to long discussions on various martial arts while listening to warped woodstock records.
Justin and I scoped out a new, much more hilarious spot for getting high, a small 4 x 4 x 5 nook at the very top of the flight of stairs to a nearby parking structure. In order to reach it you have to sort of climb/crawl, and it is pretty conspicuous because the stairway opens to a glass wall on one side, but that just makes it that much funnier. Needless to say it is really easy to clambake up there, and the fact that I am now using terminology like “clambake” is a factor I think we should focus and reflect on momentarily.
I went with Sabrina, Erin, the roomies, and Ashleigh to Necto in Ann Arbor on gay night, and had some minor paradigm shifts, though they can mostly be attributed to the large sum of two dollar long-island iced teas I consumed that night.
We met a very typical rich, white, gay, U of M student named Trevor who liked to drunkenly brag to us about the many expensive cars he owned. When we last saw him, he was only half-conscious in the driver’s seat, and having been pretty annoying, we let him know he seemed sober enough to drive home.
I also ended up pole-dancing with some drag queens, and just having a very uncharacteristic night. Not a bad nor good thing, just different. Not sure I’d want to do it again any time soon, but maybe in a few months.
I’ve been seeing a lot more of Evan recently, and having unconventionally good times. Usually hanging out consists of us wandering around having wide-reaching yet sleepily apathetic conversations, looking for fields, or good field substitutes to have pseudo-naps in, or exploring buildings in hopes of some unspoken great discovery.
There are tentative plans in the works to get lost in the woods somewhere, probably north of Detroit since woods are in short supply here.
I did some much needed clothes shopping recently, and I got some really awesome new shoes which are blue and tan, and just amazing. I’ve never really put much stock into shoes (except for heelys of course), but these really deserve to be appreciated.
I also rearranged my room today with the help of the very spatially-aware Ashleigh, and it looks great. Especially adorned with my new Polysics paraphernalia.
We’re working on getting the old bastions of the poetry group back together, and expanding it into a generally-artistic front. I’m very pumped about this. Community paintings, maybe some work in sculpture (?) a lot of nice new poetry and written works, and perhaps some music (?!?)
I’m also getting a hookah soon from the delightful Nina. I’ll be taking requests for tobacco flavors.
Oh how the future is bright. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| horizontal/verticle |
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| 12:50am 14/09/2005 |
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mood:  complacent music: Animal Collective
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School has been pretty amazing lately. It feels direly better than last year, and I'm keeping so busy, which is nice.
A lot of great new people this year, and a lot of reprises from the old cast.
And, as shallow as it might be, i'm doing a lot more partying this year, which is good for my spirit, if not bad for my lungs and liver.
I met up with 4portusbhub from FYAD and he has been really hillarious, hes got me watching football on monday nights now, so thats an interesting development for me. He is also in two of my classes which is crazy.
My roommates moved in, and they're both hurrican katrina evacuees, which is pretty awesome. They must've looted about 450 dollars worth of alcohol and brought it with them, which is kinda hillarious.
We encountered this awesome girl form the second floor named Ashleigh the first day they moved in, and together we went comsmic bowling, and got drunk, and chain smoked, and then came back to our place and watched sleepy hollow. Ashleigh is a lesbian, and its really cool to meet another gay person who is just kinda chill about it.
Dally in the Alley was also pretty neet, I had run-ins with all sorts of people. I got to play a bunch of nintendo reps at smash bros. melee, and I beat all but one of them, so they gave me some free merch, like pins and this sweet handtowel with nintendo int he traditional japanese characters written on it.
I've been hanging out with the legendary Evan Fulford recently, and he is a really awesome kid. I wish I
had known him in high school or something.
We wandered around woodward and found an internet cafe that sells smoothies flavored with white chocolate and carmel, and they were decent. We also explored some kick-ass old catholic churches with bizarre organ songs playing in the background. When we went inside, I remarked "Man this feels like Tangerine Dream or something", and like 15 minutes later we found an old Tangerine Dream cassette tape at this ultra-ghetto second hand store, a prophetic encounter to say the least.
I partied much too hard last night with the assistance of Joey and some buddies [Nina and Justin], and drank a pint of jack daniels on my own, plus a good collection of other stuff. It was a good-will effort, trying to keep a female friend from poisoning herself, and at least that effort was successful, however, I ended up going to my psychology lecture still rather trashed, and had to go back to my room for some shut-eye. A shameful act I know, but things work how they must. It was a second prophetic event as Evan and I had discussed the very same thing the day before, only it was he that had attended psychology drunk.
Today was an adventure however, and after gathering my head, I again met up with Evan, and we worked on hollowing out this old philosophy text book we found so we can like store stuff in it, we were initally gonna make the twin towers inside it as some kind of satirical 9/11 tribute, but i dunno i might be too lazy for that shit.
we also got high together and played rez, the entire situation was perfect. Detroit is a fairly open place, so we had to do some searching to find the right place to smoke down. We eventually decided on the roof of the 11 story life sciences building. It was so amazing.
The roof was locked, but we picked it with some random cards we had in our wallets, then we just sat on the windy plateau overlooking the city.
We got delicious delicious samosas from the indi-paki store, and we bought some crazy indian coca-cola product called limca, which is like a key lime soda, and is really delicious.
Rez was really perfect for the situation, like completely engrossing, almost sexually good.
The only thing that sucks is I get so introverted when I'm high, I feel like I'm probably a little bit boring, but it might be a tolerance issue or something.
I missed the Sufjan Show, and that sucks, but there are plenty more concerts to see, and my wallet is probably thankful.
I've left out a million stories, but fun is being had this year. |
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| 01:25am 31/07/2005 |
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music: Neutral Milk Hotel - Two-Headed Boy
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I am sunburnt for the first time this summer, and I must say, I've done a good job. Even my eyelids are a little burnt. However, this is no normal burn, it is the badge of a great adventure.
I awoke yesterday morning, as tired as I always am after taking a sleeping pill at 4 in the morning the night before, but this morning was different. I was restless, even my dreams were restless.
I started the morning as usual, ignoring breakfast to play some video games, Devil May Cry 3 this time. Its a wonderful game, one of the best I've played this year, but today this was not sufficient.
I dawdled, checked my mail, watched some foreign film that was approaching its climax. I waited for something to happen.
Finally, Mike called, he wanted to do something. This is a common sentiment, and why shouldn't it be? We live in Rochester hills, a land barren of activity.
His first idea was to walk the train-tracks by our old high school. We didn't know anyone who had done that before, and today called for adventure. I immediately accepted, then he asked the fated question, "Do you wanna ride our bikes there, and then walk it?" Immediately, I saw it. "Why don't we just ride our bikes the entire way, we could go really far that way." This set the deal, we would choose a direction, and ride our bikes until we passed out.
We ended up riding at least 30 miles away. We had a lot of amazing adventures along the way. The train tracks had been removed, and the whole was was converted into a hiking trail. The part closest to our house was completely unpaved, a testamnet to how much the city of Rochester Hills sucks. We rode for about 4 miles until we found a highway underpass. It was covered in grafitti, and it was very cool. We climbed up into the housing and laid around reading the walls, and taking very cool pictures. The noise of the cars running over head, and the ethereal cool breeze the constantly blew through the place made it seem unreal.
When we continued on, we found a small lake, in the middle of nowhere, and right at the edge was an upturned wooden crate. Exactly like the kind you see in video games and cartoons. To my logic, there is no possible way that that crate could have been there, it wa slarge, and heavy, and no where near a viable means of transportation. We climbed on top of the half submerged crate and looked over the area, and got some pretty stupid pictures of me doing an unintentional dance.
We continued on for quite a way until we saw the silverdome (!), we had already made it to pontiac. At this point we decided to veer off-course and ride to the silverdome, just to say we had been there.
This part of the trek was difficult, there we no sidewalks, and we had to manuever our bikes around the highway. I was less then 2 feet away from a huge semi-truck at one point, and the cold wind the rose around me as it passed sent chills down my back.
We passed the silverdome and kept riding. By this point nothing was familiar at all, we saw a sign that said "Great Lakes Crossing", and pointed in the direction we were travelling. Riding our bikes to a mall that was 40 minutes away by car seemed like a good plan so we started down that path.
We kept riding for what seemed liek eternity, but the mall was nowhere to be found. Along the way we found a bunch of mail just scattered around the ground. We kept it, but decided not to read it until later, to give us something to look forward to. About a half hour later, we saw the world's largest snapping turtle, it was just about to head into the street.
We decided to initiate a rescue mission. I helmed the camera phone, while mike tried to chhange its direction. It snapped at him as he picked it up, and at one point it almost caught him on the leg. We finally got it turned around, and started to push it back down into the grassy ravine it came from. We rode off, assured of its safety.
We eventually found ourselves a little fatigued, and hungry so we decided to stop at a burger king to get some food (They've got Veggie Burgers, so I had a good source of protein). When we got inside, Mike decided to ask directions to the mall.
Turns out we went 17 miles too far... We were on the outskirts of waterford, a little farther than we thought.
We started heading back through town. Eventually we found a Caesarland, that fabled place said to (pporly) rival Chuck E. Cheeses. I think it was the same on that Kelly worked at, where the lady gave birth in the bathroom. The games were lame, but the pipe maze was pretty cool.
A lot more riding, and I was getting pretty tired. We finally made it to Great Lakes crossing, looking a little bit dead. "At least we won't see anyone we know..." Immediately we ran into the rarest of people, Mike's friend Cody, from Central, and Justine's friend, Sarah. We chatted for a bit, and shocked them with our stories. After Mike bought some clothes, we decided to check out the new video games, and to our amazement Cait (owner of the R_Hillz community) works at the gamestop in the mall!
By this time we were tired, possibly stinky (well, I'm never stinky, but you know...) and it was getting pretty dark. We decided to call Mike's parents to pick us up.
An hour later, we were loading our stuff into his parents van and heading home.
Brandon and Jon were already at my house when we got there, and Ender was on the way over. We swam, and Andy perfected a method of jumping from my trampoline into my pool. (Quite a feat considering the 3 foot wall that surrounds the pool.)
We played Devil may Cry 3 into the night, because that game has the best cinemas of any game, and I headed to sleep. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Woo! |
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| 02:11am 25/07/2005 |
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music: Vamo'Allo Flamenco
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The last two days have been good.
Yesterday I accomplished things, which is more than I can say for a lot of days.
I made homemade butterscotch pudding, and it was the most delicious thing ever. Todd/Adam/Mike/My Mom/I can attest to this fact. Really, I was shocked at myself. Consdiering this overwhelming success, I have decided to pick up cooking as a hobby, I'm not too enthused about doing meat dishes, but if any of you guys have suggestions for what I should learn to make, I'll take them. As a bonus, you are all invited to come eat anything I make, just call me first.
I also went out driving, after at least 13 months since my last attempt. I really suprised myself. I know that it isn't really something you can brag about at my age, but I did a good job. I saw a ton of deer, it was pretty cool. It shouldn't be much longer till I get my license now. I admit I'm pretty disappointed that I had to finally get it, but I understand the reality of living in michigan, so I can't complain too much. Sorry David Sedaris, I guess I'm not your prodigy...
My cell phone is functional again starting tomorrow. This should be good news for all you kids who have been hankering for more Jacob-time. I'm debating on rather or not I'll even bother checking the messages. Inevitably I will, but it will probably be a chore.
[boring video game information] I played a 33-stock Meteos match against Todd the other day, I played on Grannest, which is definitely my new favorite level. I ended the match slightly below 2 million points, so I didn't do too bad. For a while I was worried that Meteos was a passing infatuation, but it seems to always be able to pique my interest again.
The Final Fantasy concert was tonight! It was good, but I would be lying if I didn't say I was disappointed repeatedly.
It started out great. As we walked to the DSO, I saw the hottest Cid cosplayer imaginable, he was standing next to another pretty attractive guy with pink hair who I venture to guess was dressed as a member of the turks. I really love dorks, especially hot cosplaying dorks. Which makes me a huge dork. Lucky thing I like dorks, eh?
I found out that the Stoney Creek High School Chamber Choir was providing all the vocals. This was immediately followed by a vocal "WTF?". I used to attend that high school, I can't believe they couldn't get a better choir.
We ran into Jon, Sara, and Andy, which was wonderful. Sara was looking radiant as always. We could see them from our seats, so that was cool. There was some other familiar faces placed through-out the hall, including my concert-buddy Tim from Wayne.
As far as the actual concert was concerned, all the instrumentation was spot-on. It was absolutely beautiful, however the choir was pretty lackluster. Bonus points however, are awarded because I got to see my old band teacher singing the chorus to One Winged Angel, which is definitely one of the most surreal experience of my life. Vamo'Allo Flamenco was amazing, as was the FF I-III medly.
The camera work was ridiculously poor, probably the least profession thing I've ever witnessed.
The worst part of the night however, was when I came to disocver that there was a cosplay contest and prizes were being awarded. I knew I should have gone as Kefka. That tragedy of a costume is so detailed and insanely perfect, I would have definitely won a prize, not to mention i would've had a chance to be near those hot cosplayers from the start of the concert. Oh well, can't win them all.
After the concert some of the guys came over to swim, and then everyone headed their separate ways.
I've finally started doing some personal writing seriously again. It feels nice, though to be fair, it has come at the cost of keeping up on a lot of my correspondences, so there are probably people through-out germany and australia who think I've died.
I might finally be coming over my recent insomnia, albeit with help from some strong sleeping pills. As a cute side note, ambien makes me trip balls. No kidding, I go insane when I take it. Ask my mom about the night I took it after getting a surgery on my eye. I only recently came to realize how hillarious/embarassing that situation must've been.
This might actually be one of the shortest entries in this journal. |
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